Over the last year or so my husband and I have been through so much that I felt I needed to document it in some way. The best I can hope for is that someone else reads it who is in a similar situation to ourselves and can take some comfort knowing they are not alone. Maybe it will provide some ideas of what can be done when all seems lost. The least I can hope for is that it will soothe my own mind as I find the act of writing in a stream of consciousness helps me take in the events of the past months and can be a release of emotion.
I will warn you now that I am not a writer and I tend to just write as I feel so there may be some pretty long sentences in this blog! Hopefully as I carry on my style may become more defined.
So, I will dive straight into my introduction. My name is Adele, I am 29 years old and live in England with Rob, my husband of 18months. We are the parents of two angels, Bean and Passenger and this is what my blog will focus on. It's a long and unfinished story that I want to record in the hope it will strike a chord with other parents out there and it would be amazing if you wanted to get in touch sharing your thoughts and experiences.
After we got married we were keen to start a family pretty much straight away so in September 2015 after our honeymoon I came off the pill, started taking 400ug folic acid and I started watching out for signs of ovulation and tracked my menstrual activity. We knew we probably wouldn't fall straight away but it was still disappointing when my period came every 30th day just like clockwork. The 2 week wait seemed such a long time, waiting to see if a little bundle was growing away inside, not knowing whether it was safe to drink, wanting to take a pregnancy test as early as possible but not wanting to waste them! Then the disappointment of taking a test and one solitary line appearing and wanting the period to come already so a new cycle could begin. Then having to wait another two weeks for ovulation to occur! Why is nature so slow!?
During this time my sister-in-law had her Hen Do and we'd all hired a huge house with a hot tub for the festivities, the timing wasn't great for me as I was in the 2ww so I'd decided not to drink and not join in with the hot tub. Instantly rumours rippled through the house and questions were raised to me. I came clean and just said I was waiting to see but it wasn't great that everyone in the house knew of my business, especially since almost all of the girls were strangers to me! What was more was that one of the girls claims she is a medium and was reading everyone's cards one of the evenings. I was chatting in the kitchen when my mother-in-law rushed in saying that I needed to look at her cards. Apparently they suggested that she would have a grand-daughter very soon and that set the house into melt down. Everyone insisted I had my cards read as well so I gave in and did it, as a scientist I don't see much merit in card reading but each to their own. Obviously my cards read the same thing and to be honest with you it did excite me, I wanted the 2ww to get over and done with so we would know for sure. Equally as obvious was Rob's reaction when I texted him later that evening of how much rubbish card reading was haha.
Those two weeks drew to a close, the 30th day came and went and I became very excited. I wanted to test! But Rob, being the chilled out one in this marriage said to wait until the weekend of even the week after, but there was no way I could wait that long! I agreed to wait until Saturday 14th November 2015 and dreaded trips to the loo for the 3-4 days leading up to it, anxious and hoping my period did not come. Finally Saturday came and I tested first thing in the morning, there is was, the two lovely lines of pregnancy! We had a Little Bean in my belly! I think Rob was a little perplexed but I knew something was different ever since the 30th day of my cycle had passed as I was so regular. We hugged in bed and I took a picture of the test (maybe a little weird?). We were so excited that we told our nearest and dearest straight away, telling my mam was the best as it was her birthday as well so that was great to tell her over the phone.
The next weeks were a little challenging but not terrible. I suffered no morning sickness but was extremely fatigued and was unable to do exercise after work because of it. I slept a hell of a lot often crashing out at around 8pm most days, I had hoped to continue running throughout the first trimester at least but there was no way I could do it. My boobs also constantly ached and grew pretty quickly. I was quite an anxious preggo, I instantly researched food that I could and couldn't eat and was religious in sticking to it, there are so many rules now! My mam was amazed by how runny egg yolks and soft cheeses couldn't be consumed when they were perfectly fine to eat when she was pregnant.
I went to the doctor very early on to get into the system and so on. They suggested pregnacare as a supplement which I was already taking and assigned me to a midwife. After meeting with her discussing my various family history I was given a little pack about the different scans available and the screening tests that can be performed. My fatigue continued as well as my achey boobs until I got some bigger bras.
I should also mention during this time since our marriage we had been looking at buying our first home and moving back to Rob's home town. Around November we had found a corner plot bungalow with what the estate agents call "potential". Although our deal and chain situation was extremely good it is definitely true when people say that buying a home is one of the most stressful things you can do. So as well as being an anxious pregnant lady we had house buying added to the list of stresses. On top of that, as we were moving away from our rented property area, I had been looking for another job during all of this and been offered a role in a hospital in a histology lab. It felt a bit deceiving going to interviews when I knew I'd be going on maternity leave shortly after starting but I'd always wanted to work in an NHS lab (my background being in genetics) and needed any job I could get once the house buying process had accelerated. I'd even researched the maternity leave I would be entitled to taking into consideration my potentially short time in the job.
Im going to leave it there for today and plan to post every week, it will take a while to tell my story, even more scary is that I don't know the ending yet but hopefully we will find out together.
See you all soon, Adele xx
